I've seen a couple bloggers do this letter to themselves at 14 and I think its a brilliant post to do, so here is mine....
Hey girl, it’s you here, writing to you about you at 14.
I want you to be attentive to all my words. I know right
now, the future seems so far off, I know you see certain things as being
impossible for you but trust me it gets better. You get better.
You are so kind, you care so much in fact too much for those
around you, if only you had the same love you had for others for yourself you
would be so much better. It’s so sad to too see how insecure you are, you lack
confidence so much but it doesn't show. Every single day you rise and get on
with things as if you are the happiest person alive, making all kinds of jokes
with those around you and feeling accepted when they chuckle along. You don’t
think you are pretty, you don’t think you will ever be pretty. You have all
these emotions swimming within and no clue how to apply them properly.
Quite recently the guy you liked so much called you a horrible name to your face. A very horrible name. I saw your face, for a split second you forgot
everyone was around you and something inside you died. It’s sad to see the
words of others had so much internal damage. You replayed the word in
your head 100s of times and every time the pain felt worse. I wish you hadn't
paid attention. I wish you were confident enough to dismiss his words. I wish
you knew how precious you were. Even though he said it in kid play you still
took it to heart.
You care so much about being a girl a guy would like. Stop
it, stop getting so uptight about boys, they will be around forever, you meet
some interesting characters later so don’t sweat it babe. There are millions of
guys in the world and the world you live in at the moment doesn't even
represent 1% and later on you will even reach a stage where you are like
‘goodness, leave me alone guys’ lol.
You battle with accepting your beautiful dark skin . You war
with yourself so much, staring in the mirror endlessly wondering when it would
change. You watch MTV every day as video girls in RnB videos shook their long
luscious hair and you couldn't see you ever being her. You wanted it so bad.
You wanted to look like them, you wanted the lighter skin, the hair that flows
in the wind. You hated the physical you. At one point you googled ways to
lighten your skin. Silly silly silly girl. If only you could see you through my
eyes now. Perfectly imperfect. Your skin is perfect, the spots that come and go
sometimes are perfect too. You are perfect in the strangest way, with ever
thing in life you must learn to see the best in yourself.
You need to stop worrying so much about silly stuff, forget
the mascara you’re not allowed to wear and stop comparing yourself to other
girls. Stop wishing guy’s pursued you at the same rate and stop saying things
to gain peoples approval. It may sound so crazy but I know better than anybody,
the very things you despise about yourself become your strengths. You hate how
emotional you get and how much you care but these very traits of empathy and
love aid your growth into a loving and caring young woman. Yes, there are many
times where your kind nature is abused and taken advantage of but I’m telling
you, the experience doesn't break you, you cry a bit but in the end you
understand all of it.
The way you view the world is so funny and you have all
these plans in place. You can’t wait to make your parents proud of you; you
have all these business ideas and dreams. Hold on to them. Don’t allow anyone
to dull your shin, because you shine so much, and ever so brightly. You are so
radiant in the must humble way. (I envy you a bit).
Mum and Dad seem so strict right! Lol, I promise you the
boundaries put in place help shape you later, grit your teeth. Don’t depress
yourself about all the parties you can’t attend because you aren’t allowed,
don’t envy the drunken nights you missed. I promise you girl, all of this adds
to your character development, you learn to not depend on certain things as a
means to have fun and you are able to stand later on in life, knowing your
limitations don’t make you weak.
Hoovering, tidying up, the early morning general cleaning
calls of Mum and Dad are driving you insane, you can’t deal but diligently get
on with it because sooner or later your obedient nature is praised, you will be
drawn as an example and not only that but when you leave home for a few years
to study your siblings take on the baton and you are free of the dishes lol.
I know you so well. I see the bigger picture. Laugh more and
allow moments of fun to last as long as you can. Don’t fear who is talking
about you and stop seeking the attention of certain people to be your friend.
You will laugh when you see how everyone grows and people you thought were
‘cool’ end up not being so cool anymore. You have some good friends and some
bad ones, but to be honest I think they all aided your growth, you learn about
trust, loyalty and dishonor through these friendships so I think they are
important for your development.
You are going to lose so many friends along the way, people
you are envisioning as being your brides maids won’t be there in a few years,
you will draw apart naturally. Some of them when you meet up again, whether it is
after years of no communication or not, you will just fall back into your
friendship because what bonds you together is stronger than the curse of
time. Some friends you will see and not
recognize anymore, not just physically but emotionally you just won’t be in the
same space anymore. It sounds impossible that out of your pool of friends you
may only really have 2 or 3 that you maintain a strong bond with but such is
life girl, such is life.
You are gorgeous, I would be your friend if I wasn't you
lol! God loves you so much girl and although your vision at the moment is very
restricted and you can’t see what I see, hold on to hope and continue to dream
big.
Love you so much
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